The Planner. The Executor.

 

Just as sure as I am that peanut butter and chocolate combined is the best discovery ever made, I am sure that there are two very different types of people in the world, the planner and the executor. I just want to apologize in advance because it seems that I have made people believe that I am a great executor when I am really a die-hard planner. It’s sad to say but I have owned up to the fact that many of my plans don’t go beyond a conversation, or pen and paper. Many people, if they are like me are also planners, when in reality we should strive to be executors.

The planner, if you do not already know, is someone who plans. The planner can plan for anything and everything. They love to research, get involved in the process, putting it all together to come full circle. They have their back up plans, and back up plans for the backup plans. They have a beginning, middle, and an end all clearly defined and looking quite amazing on paper. However for many planners, that is where the plan stays, on paper. Now I’m not talking about if you make a to-do list, grocery list, and not even a task list. I’m talking about you have a passion brewing in you, a vision, an idea that could make an impact and you know how you want to express it, but it never comes to fruition. That is who the planner is. The planner is the person whose ideas and dreams and visions don’t go beyond pen and paper and words. If we are being even more honest, that is just fear or delay beautified.

The executor lives life differently. The executor lives with an urgency that says “the world is going to know what I have to say”, “the world is going to see my gifts and talents ““I will get this done”. The executor doesn’t take too much time to plan because he/she knows the vision enough to just get started. They have just enough plans to get the ball rolling and do not take time to reconsider. They are not seeking perfection but rather they are first seeking implementation so that they never have to say they did not give it a shot. They take one step in front of the other; fast or slow they are still moving. The executor puts seeks action in everything and reflects later.

I need to become an executor. We all have to become executors. Now more than ever it’s not enough to just say it, it’s time to leave it all on the ground and get moving with the vision. I for one know that there has been so much I have planned for that has never actually seen the light of day because “I wasn’t finished planning” or “it wasn’t ready yet”.

We cannot wait to get ready! We just have to BE READY!

But it is so so hard, we tread carefully in life so that we don’t fall or live with regret. However don’t we already live in regret when we don’t try?

There is nothing wrong with planning. I honestly love to plan, but I don’t love to look back on my plans and see them as only plans, I want to see them in action the way I envisioned, and so I need accountability.

Side note: Isn’t it just great when you can be honest with yourself?

I am recently planning something else (shocker) but this time I have accountability. I think there is a point in your life where the Nike motto “Just do it” actually sells to you. I am determined to execute this plan! I know it won’t be easy, I know I will get scared and try to back out, but that is when accountability will mean so much more for me. I want to be able to look back and say, “I did it”. I was able to put my plan into fruition. I am no longer just a planner, I am now an executor. I want the same mind-set to be for you! Are you a planner or an executor? Are you ready to execute that plan?

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Halfway There

It’s that time of year again!!!! Before we soak in the sand or continue to spend our days at work let’s take a moment and reflect. Is it me or does this year just seem to be really flying by?? Like sheesh can I take a moment to smell some roses or have my head in the clouds?! Everything seems to be moving at such a fast pace. Everybody just seems to be going somewhere, doing something, being someone….and then there is me. I am honestly in no hurry to finish this year, yet I am in no mindset to be reminded of the past 5 months that have ended. I just have an understanding that I am near the halfway mark and something has got to give. I feel like it’s time to take more action. Less talk more action, what are we really about?

We are all near the halfway mark for this year and what do we have to show for it? Look around; examine where you said you wanted to be in January (if you made any plans at all) and where you are now. Are you happy with what you see in the mirror? Are you happy with your bank account? Are you happy with your relationships? Are you happy with your journey? Are you drained? Are you already ready for 2018? Talk to me, where is your head at? Just like with last year’s half point mark post this is just a reflection piece. Now is the time to make necessary changes that can impact how you choose to end the year in a way that will lift you up! It’s not too late.  If you’ve been slacking the first half of the year, now is truly the time to show what you’re made of, not for anybody but for you. You owe it to yourself to be a better you! Take charge of how your year goes!

I personally did not set any resolutions for this year. My focus this year has mainly been on creating, renewing, enhancing, and eliminating different relationships. I want to make sure that I know where I stand with people and where they stand with me, acting according to that knowledge. Another focus for this year was to just be God’s best me, whoever she may be. In both focus points I am not fully there yet but I am working each day to make sure that I am closer than I was the day before and that I don’t end the year with shoulda coulda woulda’s. I am taking steps even now at the halfway mark to be better, do better and grow better. Be reflective this month, we are halfway there but we aren’t there yet!

How did I have such a great year?

When I started this year the first thing I said to myself right at midnight was “ I am going to have a good year, it will be simple, but it will all be good”. At that moment I had no clue what I meant because I surely didn’t have any plans or resolutions written, I just knew I was going to have a good year. Fast-forward to now, the end of the year and I must admit I made a mistake. I did not have a good year at all; I had a GREAT year! More than what was expected. Often times we get to the end of the year and begin to reflect on our year, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I didn’t have any ugly, I didn’t have much bad, I did have some good, but I had a lot of great. With the many shocking deaths in pop culture, political changes, economic fluctuations, and the stressful last semester I just had (I graduated btw!), how did I manage to have such a great year?

  1. Write More

I said earlier that I did not have any New Years resolutions, no plans. About 3 weeks into the year I started writing down things I would like. I wrote down places I would like to go, things I would like to do. I wrote down issues I would like to resolve, I just wrote things down in no particular order. I even wrote down rules and stuff such as the time I wanted to go to bed (which worked for like half the year smh). I wrote down things I believed to be achievable and things I believed would make my account scream at me. I checked my list recently and saw that I actually did them. I traveled, I changed, I grew, I matured, I learned about myself. I did all of that and was now able to look back like whoa my life is pretty great.

  1. Say Less

I understand what people mean now by “do more say less”. Often time’s people do not support each other. ‘They smile in your face….’ y’all know the song by the O’Jays? Yea I felt like the year before if I would say something it wouldn’t happen, or people now had expectations of you. This year I did things differently I did not say a lot of anything, I did not announce my movements. There is no time for someone to try to discourage you and feed their input if they have no information. Learn to give people less information, surprise them. A lot of things this year came by surprise. I took a trip to Jamaica on the whim. Nobody knew I was graduating until about a month to date, all happy surprises thank God. The beauty in surprises is what’s done is done so might as well enjoy the moment or move past it. Which brings me to number 3…

  1. Don’t be bothered

I had a friend come to me and say they admired me because I just seem to always be unbothered with life. I was touched, but the truth is, I am always bothered. These last few months have been sooo tiring. However, though I was bothered I could not wear it as a crutch. The Bible says in John 16:33 “…I have overcome the world”. With that knowledge I just can’t afford to be bothered. I looked at many instances this year with the mindset that if it were within my control then I would handle it the best way I can. If it were not in my control, then I would let God do His thing and redirect my focus. I was not bothered this year by people, things, and especially by finances. I redirected my focus and made room for God to takeover.

  1. Be at peace

I actually did not learn this last thing until around November. Nonetheless, it is a lesson well learned that helped to bring a great ending to my 2016. In the beginning, though I was enjoying life and doing things and all that good stuff I can’t help but wish there were certain people to join me on my journey. I wasn’t fighting with anybody but I knew I wasn’t actually at peace with all people. I took the last few weeks of the year to check in with people and just settle some issues I thought I had buried and just plant some peace in the relationship. Making peace with someone does not mean go skipping off for ice cream the next minute, but there is room for growth where there was an initial drought. I made peace with people and most importantly I made peace for myself. I actually made peace right in time for graduation and ended up celebrating with the ones I truly loved!

Moving into the New Year what are four things you can do to make it great? I plan to use these four again and more. I plan to have an amazing year. Don’t get too caught up in what is going on around you. Reel in on one thing one day at a time and enjoy it, fix it, adapt to it, love it, whatever “it” is, will be part of the New Year, so embrace it!

Put yourself out there

People are so afraid to be vulnerable. People are so afraid to fail, to succeed, to put themselves out there.

Fear of the unknown?

Fear of becoming too known?

Fear of judgment?

Whatever it is I will be the one to say, people are afraid to put themselves out there.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzsky

I used to miss 100% of the shots. In fact, I was never even in the court. I used to just shut things down based on credentials, based on looks, and based on comparison. I lost the battle before I even knew I had one to fight. Looking back on many things, I could have done them. You could have done them. However, I was fear ridden. I wanted to remain under the radar because I felt if I just stepped out, just for a bit, that voice of rejection would ring loud and cause my goals to go deaf. So I hid from it, causing my goals to just die.

Up until recently, in my senior year of college, I will soon be thrown into the real world so I need a job! I realized that I could shoot my shot and miss or make (50%) or just miss (100%). I began taking shots. I began to put myself out there. Forget any credential they wanted, I was making shots! Some days are better than others, but everyday I am growing. I am building myself. WHAT A WOW!! Funny thing is this goes beyond career goals. I am putting myself out there with relationships and I am expanding my goals! I mean I have to, the others have already been met!

So just put yourself out there. I know it’s easier said than done, but let it be done. I have a friend who truly inspires me. As she often says, “shoot ya shot!” I don’t mean it the way social media does with the dm thing, no. Shoot ya shot with life! You never know what may come of it. Maybe a job, promotion, spouse, vacation, anythingggg! Or you could just never even try, allow your goals to collect dust like a box of old magazines sitting in another room in your house, untouched…finally trashed.

 

 

 

Dear Hate

Dear hate,

I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to wake up in the morning wondering not about the pleasant things in life but rather who I should fear, as if a person, created the same way as me should be feared. They aren’t a villain, but rather take on the persona. It’s not enough that we already fear life and the obstacles surrounding, but to now hand the authority of fear to a complete stranger. Forget lions and tigers and bears, it has turned into police, guns, bombs, hash tags and tears. No not happening! I am proud of my journey, my heritage, my color, I am proud. I will not hide the fact that I am proud because you want to bury my people. I refuse to live in fear.

I refuse to remain in my house because I fear to walk out my door to go to the park and be shot for my gender, ethnicity, race, or religion. I plan to see ALL that the world has for me. I plan to make it to my destinations, send my family postcards and make it back home. I will not be afraid of flying. I will not be afraid to celebrate. I will not be afraid to go to clubs or tourist destinations just because you choose to show up and shoot out a whole population.

I have not lost and I will not lose. Because you see there is something beautiful about strength, the strength of a woman, the strength of a man, and the strength that comes from having God live in you. Therefore we will not lose. We are beautifully strong and continue to shine through. We are human. You can go ahead and keep putting on your shows, continue to “try” to diminish and reduce, and deflect our lives. Continue to put on a show. Just understand that all the magic shows do not compare to the magic that lies within us.

You do not have the power. You do not have the authority. My God who gave life is the only one authorized to take it!!

But don’t worry I am not angry.  I forgive you because I understand that there is something special waiting on the other side of patience. With open arms I will embrace you. I will embrace you hate, and I will bathe you with love.

Sincerely,

Love

Get to know your you!

I am currently in my season of singleness and I am now truly understanding it and enjoying it to the fullest. I was having a conversation with a friend about how I am happier and more at peace, all that jazz. I then made the realization that until you truly know who you are you cannot know whom you want. I say this because often times we get tired of being single. Not lonely, but mainly alone. So what happens is we begin to settle or we get frustrated.

I then realized something. We get frustrated and settle because we don’t really know what we are looking for; we just want it. What is it? Who is it? It like we are searching through an empty Wal-Mart looking for groceries, frustrating! I realized that if we are to look at relationships through the eyes of God we are supposed to get our exact opposite. The exact piece to the puzzle, as Eve came from Adam we should be able to know exactly who we want because the person comes from us. That person is your equal.

The only reason one wouldn’t know who they want is because they don’t know who they are. How is it possible to just match the leg of a bear to the arm of woman and say that it is unified? It won’t work. I’m sure in another dimension everything works out and some people can tolerate and make it work, but why do that? Get to know your you. Do not rush, know who you have become and who you want to become. Understand your growth. Before you allow a weed to grow next to you, understand the flower that you’re becoming and know the complement, don’t substitute. Get to know what is missing, so that when it comes down your path you will recognize it immediately.

God did not create us to tolerate, to settle, to “make it work”, to substitute. When you’re matched with whom you were created for, OH MY GOSH!  He wants for you to fully know yourself. Most importantly He wants you to fully know yourself in Him.

Secret: save yourself time and just get to know Him. Once you know Him, and I mean really really know Him, you will know your you and that takes you to your “it.”

Mid – Year Report

Okay guys and gals it’s time for the mid year report!!!!!

Before you head off to your much needed vacations and such we need to sit and reflect! We are almost halfway through the year 2016. How have you all been living the first half of the year? Are you at peace? Does joy reflect through you? Have you gotten rid of the holes in your socks or the trash in your kitchen? Has your circle grown or is it practically a period? What’s the deal with your mid-year report??

I am proud to say that I have been having a very good year thus far and I am looking forward to the other half of it. There is no secret to having a good report; you choose what you want your report to reflect. Your actions will aide in your report now, and also for the end of the year. There are people who have asked me why I have such peace, why I smile so bright and laugh from the heart. Honestly, there is no secret, it’s just I decided to make a change from last years report. I had to make some things a priority and leave the rest alone. For instance, I made conscious changes to enjoy my year starting with whom I chose to be involved with this year. No time, for just because friendships and such. I owe nobody a thing and neither do you. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to see? I do not intend for you to land in Bora Bora, but maybe a trip next door is a big start.

I also chose one thing I want to focus on for each month, week, or day. Basically, make smaller goals that will add up to a bigger goal. For example, the past few weeks I have jokingly said “ my goal for the summer is to eat burgers and look cute!” I have definitely had my share of burgers but most importantly, I am taking it easy and enjoying life! This year has truly been about taking it easy, and as I reflect on my annual report for the next half of the year I do not have much I want to change, but do you?

It is not too late to make changes in your year, if you need to take some people out and bring some people in go ahead and make that trade off. Make changes that when you come back to reflect at the end of the year you will be happy to not have wasted the second half moping or crying or stressed out. You will be happy that you made that change on time to really enjoy it, and on time to enjoy your summer. Go ahead, and complete your mid-year report, it can only go up from here.