So at work yesterday me and my manager got to talking about relationships, like she really gave me another powerful outlook on how relationships should be. Like she said “this is going to take our relationship to another level”, it was that serious. Like we were really having life changing conversation when we should’ve been attending to customers. However, I felt like what she was telling me without directly telling me was way more important than a sale on jeans; it came at the right point in my life. So let’s start with lesson 1:
People who come at the right point-
There are some people that you don’t even know you need but just happen to make their entrance at the right time and bring you the energy you need and the confidence and peace and assurance. They make going through life less of a chore and more of a journey. Kind of that breath of fresh air when everything else is like dust. No offense to the ones who have been there but this person with their right timing seems to magically have everything you need. With that person you begin to really build and connect that in your head it’s like “where have you been all my life” That is something worth watching.
Lesson 2:You have enough chores as it is-
So me personally, I think I worry about school and my family and my puppy and food and money and other basic things that I don’t feel I should have to worry about a person if they are not a part of a bigger picture in my life. In fact to be too fixated on a person that you don’t do things normally anymore is a problem. Now don’t go and say “oh well I don’t know what the future holds so I don’t want to let them go yet”. Really? So you just going to sit here and tell me that you like doing the extra work in something that should be of equal effort. God would not put you in a relationship that is a headache. If you have to set reminders to check on that person because they aren’t naturally on your mind, or you feel like hearing their life struggles is not something you want to do,or you are being drained, then you might want to reconsider your actions and how invested you should be in that person.
Lesson 3: Drop the crutches –
Now I believe we have some people that we know, I mean we know, that we don’t NEED. I emphasize the word need because although we may not need them we may still want them, so we use them as a crutch because we have acclimated ourselves to doing things with them. We begin to feel like without them we lose our balance. Well how about you were walking before you had crutches so I know you can walk without them. I am guilty of holding on to some people, but I felt better when I let them go. Also do you know it is so so awkward to hold on to someone who is not even holding on to you? We become so dependent on maybe what they think of us or how we do things that we suddenly begin to do things their way. We think it is a way to maintain their friendship and “support”. You lost your footing, but now it is time for you to gain back your balance.
Lesson 4: They should be easy –
Take note that I did say easy and not perfect, because yea I understand that we are humans and we will have those moments were things aren’t going to be the way we want. However even in those moments of bickering or loving or silence or having conversation it should all be easy. It should all flow and come naturally. Take another note that it will also be easy for you to be yourself. If you do begin to lose yourself then RUN and lose that person. Easy and effortless relationships are the most fun, they rely on nothing else but the fact that you be true to one another.
Now I am no relationship coach, heck I ain’t even in a relationship. But I am in an understanding phase of what I want in friends and beyond because life is too short, way too short for crappy conversation and crappy company. Relationships are powerful. If you have meaningful relationships with only 5 people in your whole life, it is better than having 105 people who mean no more than hi and bye every few weeks. And yea that’s life and yea it happens, but it doesn’t have to happen to you. Not everybody you come into contact with is meant to stay forever, but the ones that do stay…